Being His Voice

My Earl died as the result of being prescribed methadone. It has not been proven yet, but I have a lawyer and I will be like a dog with a bone. Intuitively, down in the deepest part of my soul, I know this to be truth. Earl was recovering from a severe bout of pneumonia which already affected his breathing.  He had hepatitis C which would have caused the methadone to build up in his system. He had, at some point in time, had a mild heart attack. He was on other prescribed painkillers including Xanax.  Earl can no longer stand up for himself. I am his voice.

 A report by the Government Accountability Office states, "The involvement of Xanax – a sedative used to treat anxiety, insomnia, and seizures – is particularly troubling as previous studies have shown that people who were prescribed both methadone and Xanax were at greater risk of overdose than those prescribed only one of these drugs."

According to cdc.gov the risks of methadone include:

• The difference between prescribed doses and dangerous doses of methadone is small.
• Methadone has special risks as a painkiller. For example, taking it more than 3 times a day can cause the drug to build up in a person’s body, leading to dangerously slowed breathing.
• Methadone can seriously disrupt the heart’s rhythm.
• Methadone can be particularly risky when used with tranquilizers or other prescription painkillers.
• In one study, four in ten overdose deaths involving single prescription painkillers involved methadone, twice as many as any other prescription painkiller.        

Grief, Love and Life Continued

There are no words loud enough to echo the pain of this kind of loss. It lasts forever. It shifts and changes as the years go by and it gets quieter over time, but there are still those times, even many years later, when you hit those pockets of grief - like turbulence on an airplane - and the pain is so loud you can hardly sit with it, and you can't open your mouth wide enough to let out the howl that lives inside your soul. That grief becomes a part of you, like a tree trunk growing around a foreign object, accepting it, until it lives deep inside the wood of the trunk and is an integral part of the strength of that tree. But there is always a deformity on the surface to remember that long-past invasion. That thing that shouldn't have happened that will never quite make sense, even when we know that the grief is part of what makes us who we are meant to become. It never changes missing someone who should have been here to dance through life with us.

The grief of the physical loss will remain forever, but the Spirit life remains. Unseen. Untouched. But here all the same. Grief stays.....but so does love and life.